"Dammit..."

Wet snow, or sleet, as it is know by those over-dressed newscasters, came down on me here today. It was cold, and wet, and uncomfortable with a capital "U". On top of that, anything and everything that seemed promising when I fist got back home has caved in on me in a big way, so right about now, I'm feeling like a pile of shit that knows it's out of place.

I didn't risk everything I am or was, I didn't say "fuck you" to the life I had as I turned and walked away from it for this...I was told, by more than enough people that there would be more to this once I got here...And now that I am here, I find that there is nothing, absolutely nothing here for me at all.

Once again, one more, I gave up something for nothing. I trusted people, and it got me nothing, once again. How many times is that going to happen, how many times does it have to happen before I realize that anything and everything that could ever come out of a person's mouth is a lie?

I am upset with myself, 'cause I keep trying to see the best in everyone even when I know it's not there. I'm upset with everyone who's ever said on word to me, because every word, every syllable that's ever come out of anyone's mouth, intended for me, has been in whole, or in part, a lie.

Tell ya what guys, I quit, alright? I'm done. I give up, on all of you, because out of the hundreds of you I've met so far, not one of you has done or said anything to show me that you give a shit. So why should I? Tell me? After getting less than nothing form anyone and everyone who knows me for far too long, why should I give anything back?

I may or may not have one small thing on my side though. Karma. Yep, if i that's real, I'm in good shape and the rest of you are royally fucked. I would hope that it was real, that at least one dream of mine came true, but by now, I know better, so I hope for shit, I ask for nothing, and I expect the worst, and every single one of you can go get fucked sideways if you don't agree with how I feel.